Wednesday, February 29, 2012

I'm leaving

Im jealous, Im a green-eyed monster. Im jealous but I'm not supposed to.

Better be. I'm leaving now. So you don't have to think about leaving me later.

Love doesn't mean to be together. I get that, all the time.

Why fall in love at the first place?..

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

After all these years.


I finally give up on you. You maybe don't notice that you are being awkward, awkwardly replying me. The way you react, the way you respond to me.

I dont know where it went wrong. Or maybe its me who always asked to much? sik pernah satisfied.. or it is true that you never gave enough.

I was all good. I love you, and how I wish that you feel the same.. But I know you don't. Then whats the point of having this relationship. I know I won't find any guy who would fly miles just to see me. How I wish I could relate what you did and what you feel towards me.

After that trip, we are distance. You never greeted me like you used to. You stop telling me you want babies with me. We stop do stuff we normally did. It is breaking, I can feel it.

Cant stop my tears from falling, Cant stop my heart from breaking,
I cant stop looking back where things were good.

As much as I want you around, I dont want to hurt myself.
As much as I love you sayang.. I know the other person loves you more & I know you love her too.
So what is left for me..? It hurts. It is sad.

A big messed in my head. I try not to miss you. I try not to think of you.
But you were my routine, now I have to live without you in the morning or before I sleep at night.

I know Im just the other girl. and I know, there's nothing good come out of it.
I never blame you at the first place.

Now, how I wish you could see me cry. and wipe my tears away. It wont happen.


Sayang, we had good times...

Saturday, October 8, 2011

I dont know what to do.


What is love is all about?

I thought it would be easy just to love someone as they are. It is not true. Never.

I do love you. but sometimes the way you treat me, the way you respond to me , i feel its just not right.

You said you care. But you never did. You say words that break my heart. You never ever thought of the littlest thing come out of your mouth.

I want the best for you


Everything I did, Everything I said, is because I want the best for you.

I know I am not perfect, sometimes I strayed away with my own thoughts, and I can be selfish at times.

I dont know why you can spend hours on your game. But never can keep up conversation with me.

I know you care. But it is never enough.

All I want is you to be happy, I want you to be successful. And of course I want the same for me. For both of us.

Love. It is never easy having this relationship. But you not working it out, we never work it out. You never tried. And Im almost giving up.


I want the best for you.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Sayang

We do things I never did.

Thanks for coming back for me sayang. I cant never thank you enough for your sacrifices; your money, your time. I had good time with you.

Sayang,
I never thought we would reached this far; you come back here just for me, you sacrificed your time to spend time with me. Nothing I can do to repay this. Nothing.

I love you.

Monday, July 11, 2011

is this really the end?



"if thats what you want. then, i'll stop caring"

fine.

Friday, June 10, 2011

That we never existed.


After about a week plus not talking, (what he did was just leave me an offline goodnight msg)

I know he still thinking of me.. but it is not the same now. I still feel for him but I couldnt give what I gave to him last time. I cannot do it anymore.

I dont want to be hurt 'cause I know it will be harder if I dont stop it now, If I dont try now.

I wonder why is it so easy for me to give in, I need strength now. Not that I want it to end this way;

Look, do I have a choice at the first place? Why would I give so much to someone who is sure he would'nt end up with me, who rejects me in his future, who back offs before we even try?

It is too much to ask for the future, I realised that. But why dont give this time to me at least to have you, and try to give you what you want, what you need.

At some point, it made me think that it is not me that afraid of losing. It is him, who feared that we cannot keep up, that we will break before it all happen.

On the other hand, I strongly feel that he never wanted me in his life.


xx.