After about a week plus not talking, (what he did was just leave me an offline goodnight msg)
I know he still thinking of me.. but it is not the same now. I still feel for him but I couldnt give what I gave to him last time. I cannot do it anymore.
I dont want to be hurt 'cause I know it will be harder if I dont stop it now, If I dont try now.
I wonder why is it so easy for me to give in, I need strength now. Not that I want it to end this way;
Look, do I have a choice at the first place? Why would I give so much to someone who is sure he would'nt end up with me, who rejects me in his future, who back offs before we even try?
It is too much to ask for the future, I realised that. But why dont give this time to me at least to have you, and try to give you what you want, what you need.
At some point, it made me think that it is not me that afraid of losing. It is him, who feared that we cannot keep up, that we will break before it all happen.
On the other hand, I strongly feel that he never wanted me in his life.
xx.
